The Real World, Sunset Valley: Episode 21: A Beautiful Mess

Previously, on "The Real World, Sunset Valley":

Episode 20 (P.U.R.E. Trouble Conclusion)

-The taste and feel of Jason's lips sent Brooke's heart and body in a frenzy.

-Hannah caught them making out in the hot tub.

-She called Jason a dog just like the other guys she dated.

-She accused Brooke of playing with Jason and Matt's emotions.

-Brooke blames Jason's fading interest on Hannah's promiscuity.

By the time Brooke arrives home, the sun is already rising. Flashbacks of last night's events randomly enter her mind as she slips inside the safe cocoon of her own bed. Despite a splitting headache and the room lightly spinning, blurry visions of Jason's skilled tongue exploring her mouth makes her heart skip a thousand beats. She can still taste the pomegranate nectar on his lips. The feel of his arm around her shoulder, fingers so close, it almost grazes the top of her breast. The intensity of his cornflower blue eyes boring into hers, making her look away because her heart and soul feels exposed. The way her body shivers out loud as she snuggles tightly next to him, leaving no space between their skins. The tingles caused by the drink that seemed to burst through her skin like bubbles, ramping up all of her senses. The way she feels so secure and protected in his arms. It's unlike any haven she has ever known, not even the tranquility of the beach can compare to the way her soul aches for him. For the first time, she stops fighting her feelings...and surrenders to them. A sweet surrender that feels so right....

Until Hannah's angry presence jolted her back to reality. If heaven and hell could ever be in one place, it would have been found in the tension between her, Jason and Hannah last night. How can moments of such unadulterated bliss be brought down to shameful regret? How can the feelings of love be tainted with so much hate? How can something that feels so wrong feels so right, then feel so wrong again? She never thought she would be "that woman", the type of woman that sneaks around with someone else's man. She never thought she would allow her emotions to make decisions for her. Maybe we were just being drunk and stupid. Maybe we just didn't know any better. True, under normal circumstances, she would have never danced the way she did or followed Jason to the hot tub, let alone make out with him. Or did they use the euphoric effect of the drink to peel away their inhibitions and act out on their feelings?

OMG, Matt. This is the first time she has thought about Matt since she got off the phone with him last night. We're supposed to have a date on Friday! Oh shit, what have I done?? A flood of guilt overcomes her, making her wish that night had been a dream she would eventually wake up from. Not only did she risk losing one friend, she also gained an enemy and risked jeopardizing her future with Matt.

I need to get some sleep. I'll deal with this later.

Hannah still slept in Brooke and Jason's old room on the second floor. Since Jason never returned to her room after they spent the night together, she hasn't returned to her room either. Especially after the disaster from last night.

As Jason stares at the white sheets, he knows that his actions changed his relationship with Brooke and Hannah. He hurt the woman that was crazy about him, just for a moment of bliss with the woman who can set his soul on fire with a kiss. And he will have to deal with both of them eventually. After all, they live in the same house.

Oh crap, Hannah. I didn't mean for her to find out this way.

This is the second night that he spent in Brooke's room. Does this mean he chooses Brooke or is there simply a safety in numbers?

His fear of commitment still haunts him in his sleep. After all that has transpired, he is still afraid of being with the wrong woman.

It looks like Pak doesn't want anything to do with serious relationships either. Geez, exactly how bad did Karrie screw him up?

This can't be right. Either last night's fiasco shook Brooke up so much that she doesn't want anything to do with marriage for a while or Jason's ideas are starting to rub off on her.

Neither of them were able to get much sleep. Between tossing, turning and a mild hangover, they both awoke to the sight of each other. Right now, with the bright sunlight creeping through the large windows, this is the first time they face each other without the dim lights or the safe veil of the dark night. Their eyes cannot hide what happened, nor can their minds erase the vivid images of their explosive kiss.

Jason has woken up to Brooke before since they shared the same room, but this morning is different. Instead of imagining the sweetness of her lips, the scent of her skin or the softness of her body like he usually does, now he has uncovered a little bit of that mystery. And that small appetizer is even better than he imagined. It was as if he was given a small bite, just enough for his senses to experience such delicacy, just enough to leave him hungry for more. It may have been just one bite, but it was the most mind-blowing sample of anything he has ever experienced in his life.

Just the sight of her waking up in her lacy bra and panties, hair tousled from tossing and turning (and last night's intense hot tub session) with eye make-up slightly smeared, his pulse starts dancing wildly. Damn, she's sexy. I just want to pin her against the wall and taste her neck.

Her eyes evoke shyness, maybe a hint of embarrassment from last night's rendezvous, yet they are brimming with the delicious thrill of their steamy encounter.

Brooke: Good morning...

Jason: Hey you...

Those intoxicating lips. Those soft, juicy, pillow-like lips. Those lips that have the ability to wake up all of the chemicals in his body. His hunger for them intensifies even more. Her mouth speaks but all he hears are her lips beckoning to be ravaged again.

Jason: Did you sleep okay?

Brooke: Not really. I couldn't really sleep that much.

Jason: Me neither.

After he showered and changed, visions of him and Brooke being together suddenly invades his consciousness. At first, he's caught off guard by the thought. But the more the idea lingers on his mind, the more appealing it becomes. He envisions himself holding her hand as they take a stroll in the park, enjoying the cool breeze and listening to the rustling trees. Perhaps taking her out to a romantic candlelit dinner at the Little Corsican Bistro, feeding her chocolate mousse and caressing her hand across the table until the restaurant becomes empty. Maybe even taking her to see a movie, then putting his arm around her in the dark theater, and if he's lucky, maybe steal a little make-out session until they absolutely must find a more private place to continue. He remembers how fondly she speaks of the beach. She even went by herself at night. They can take a stroll on the beach during the day, watch the waves, go for a swim, have a picnic and wait for the sun to set. Then when it gets dark, they can scan the night sky for shooting stars. Or he can just surprise her with roses just because. Just to see her whole face light up.

Where am I getting these ideas from?? This isn't like me. I'm not romantic.

When Brooke returns to the room after a quick shower, Jason starts acting strange.

Jason: Hey Brooke.

Brooke: What's up?

Jason: Can you see yourself kissing the same person for the rest of your life?

Brooke: Jason...isn't it a little early to be asking these questions? No, please don't remind me of our kiss. It's been haunting me all morning.

Jason: It's just a simple question. Yes or no.

Brooke: Well...

YES!!! Your lips are like a drug, I have to have them. I went to bed thinking about them, I woke up thinking about them and I want to nibble on them NOW.

Jason: Yes or no.

Brooke: Then in that case, yes. If I can't see myself kissing anyone else.

Jason: How do you know that, though?

His eyes search hers for answers, so she looks away.

Brooke: I think you'll just know. You'll feel it. And want it. And crave it. And need it like your own life depended on it. Oh God, stop thinking about it!!

His facial expression morphs from a curious state into something more serious. Perhaps a little apprehension. His eyes want to tell her something, but words can't seem to escape his mouth.

Brooke: What's wrong?

Jason: I don't know... just had this crazy idea.

Brooke: What is it?

Jason: Nah, it's dumb.

Brooke: No, tell me. I want to know.

Jason: Promise you won't get upset?

Brooke: I promise. Now spill.

Jason: Well...do you think you could ever feel that way about me?

She can feel her chest tighten in shock, hampering her ability to breath. Her heart feels as if it can be heard drumming from miles away. Never in her wildest dreams did she expect Jason to ask her something like that, especially how she feels about him. Just when she convinced herself that last night was a drunken mistake, he throws her off guard with this question. As much as she wants to explore her relationship with Jason, she still doesn't like the circumstances that it had to happen in. For once, why couldn't things start off perfectly like it did with Matt? Why does all this drama have to be involved just for us to be together?

Brooke: ..........

Jason: I guess not.

Brooke: No, that's not true. Don't get me wrong...kissing you is like..wow.

Jason: Really?? Is it me or did the Earth shake a little bit? *grin*

Brooke: Haha. You're so full of it. *grin*

Jason: Yeah, I'm definitely getting full of something.

Brooke: Jason, stop. Don't go there. *blush*

OMG, he's so bad.

Jason: Sorry. You have no idea how much you turn me on.

Brooke: Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God

Just as he leans in to kiss her again, she plants her hand on his chest to prevent him from going further. He looks a bit surprised, but he slowly backs off with a bruised ego.

Brooke: Jason, we can't. Last night would have been perfect if it wasn't for how it ended with Hannah. Now I just have these negative memories about our kiss.

Jason: Why, do you regret what happened?

Brooke: It's not that. I just kind of...regret the situation. I don't like being that girl that sneaks around with you.

Jason: We don't have to sneak around. There's nothing going on between me and Hannah. Especially now.

Brooke: But we all live in the same house. And she will have to see us together even if she doesn't like it. I don't know if I have the heart to do that. Especially after seeing you with her. I wouldn't want to wish that kind of pain on anyone.

Disappointment takes over his face. You gotta be kidding me. This cannot be happening again.

Jason: So are you telling me that we're still just friends?

Brooke: I'm...afraid so. I just don't feel comfortable with the situation we're in. I hope you understand.

Jason: ............

Brooke: Jason?

Jason: Yeah...I guess. I mean, I'm not happy with it but I don't have a choice. There's one thing that you need to know though.

Brooke: What's that?

Jason: Friends don't kiss the way we do. *grin*

Brooke: Haha. Fair enough. It won't happen again. *grin*

Jason: That's too bad.

Brooke: Yeah, its a shame. You have no idea how badly I'm going to miss those lips. I hope I made the right decision.

Jason: Are you doing anything today?

Brooke: Not that I know of, why?

Jason: I was thinking maybe we can hang out. As friends of course. We never really got to do that.

Brooke: You're right. We should do that more often. Spending more time with Jason alone. Lord help me...

Jason: Let's go. I'm taking you somewhere.

Brooke: Really? Where??

Jason: It's a surprise.

It's strange to see Jason waiting for her in his car. It's as if he's picking her up on a date, but it's not a date. Still, to observers who don't know them, there's nothing platonic in the energy between them. Their futile attempt to cover up and control the smoldering heat in their friendship will someday be like trying to put out a house fire with a bucket of water. If they keep spending time together alone, it won't be long before someone notices. I just hope for Brooke's sake that it won't be Matt.

In order to calm her nerves, Brooke tries to lighten the tension in the air.

Brooke: Do you mind if I play some music?

Jason: Not at all.

Brooke: Alright, this is one of my favorite songs. If it becomes unbearable, just let me know and I'll change it.

Jason: It's not some weird jungle music, is it?

Brooke: Haha!! No, you dork. Just give it a chance. Okay?

Jason: Alright. Hurry up before I change my mind.

Brooke: Alright. Here it goes....

"You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl

Who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
But your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is"

And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses
Well it kind of hurts

When the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous

Is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say

That we played in the dirt
'Cause here, here we are
Here we are
We're still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess

When the only answer is "Yes"

Brooke: So what do you think so far?

Jason: Ummm...

Brooke: You hate it, huh? Just say it.

Jason: No. It's not bad. I'm just not into sappy songs. I'm lying. This song sums up how I feel about you.

Brooke: Haha. Fair enough.

Jason: We're here.

Brooke: Already?? Wow, this place is huge.

Jason: I passed by it on the way home last week but never had the chance to stop by.

Brooke: Oh, look! They have a treehouse!!

Jason: This was one of my favorite places growing up. This was the only place where I could really be a kid.

Brooke: Me too. I used to beg my parents to take me to the park when I was younger.

Brooke: Oh my goodness, I feel like I'm six again.

Jason: Is that good or bad?

Brooke: It's good. It was when my parents were still together and my world was still normal.

Jason: Whoa, careful! You look kinda high.

Brooke: I'm a pro at this! I never fell from the swing no matter how high I go.

Jason: Never?? Not even once?

Brooke: Nope. I got sticky fingers, let me tell ya. I got like the death grip.

Her excitement is contagious. Her smile can light up the whole city at night. This is a completely different side of her that he has never seen. She's child-like, carefree, happy and giddy with laughter. He feels like he's eight again, when a simple push on the wing can make him feel weird about a girl. Yet there was something so hot about her innocence on the swing. The way her back arched as he firmly gripped the seat before he pushed it, fingers lightly grazing her back pocket. For a split second, he saw himself pushing his own raven-haired daughter (who is three) on the swing, squeeling in pure joy just like Brooke. She happens to be seven months pregnant with their son, standing right next to him in a flowing, yellow summer dress.

"Be careful, sweetheart. Don't go too high," she would remind her pride and joy, who inherited her father's cornflower blue eyes, as she contently rubs her burgeoning belly.

"Okay, Mommy. Daddy, watch me!!"

"I'm watching, pumpkin. I got you." Jason assures as he gently pushes her backside.

That image quickly fades away as he's brought back to the present. A strange feeling of loneliness makes him long to go back to that imaginary place again. The place that brings him so much joy and contentment that for the first time in his life, he feels complete. He doesn't feel an empty void anymore. He feels loved, needed and more importantly, like he belonged to something much larger than himself. His own family.

What is happening to me?

From this angle, he can see the small of her back as well as the plumpness of her tush sticking out past the seat. Every time her back approaches him, her long black hair sways in the air, and he catches a light whiff of plumeria. Oh, how he wishes he can just just grab her from behind and run his fingers through hair. But he must keep these thoughts to himself because nothing else can happen between them.