Season 2, Episode 12: The Pak Is Back

Previously, on "The Real World, Sunset Valley": 
Episode 11 (Season Finale Part 2) 

-Brooke learned that the mystery guy's name is Matt. 
-Matt learned that Brooke's parents divorced when she was eight. 
-Matt believes that happily married people marry their soulmates. 
-They stargazed and shared a very steamy kiss. 
-Jason stayed up all night waiting for Brooke to come home. 


"Warning: This story contains adult language, themes and situations.  All characters portrayed are fictional.  Please read at your own discretion.*



 

For the first time, Hannah takes a good look at herself and likes what she sees. She was so preoccupied with impressing Jason on their date that she never truly grasped her transformation until she saw herself in the mirror. Her face is slimmer, her curves are more noticeable, her bone structure is more prominent, her new hair color brings out her blue eyes and her skin-tone has a peachy glow. 

Wow, I look pretty good. Now wonder Jason couldn't keep his eyes off me the other night. 

 

With this newfound confidence, she struts in the living room as if she owns it. There's a new girl in town! 

 

After seeing Hannah's amazing new look, Pak becames even more discouraged about his lack of skills with women. Guys like Jason have girls fighting over him all the time, but what about me?? He was the quiet kid in high school who spent most of his time hiding in the library or the computer lab. When his friend (yes, one friend) didn't show up to school, he usually ate alone in the cafeteria. Even that was unbearable since the popular kids sitting together made him even more aware that he was invisible. Nobody wants to be that person that sits alone in the cafeteria. But for Pak, it wasn't a choice. 

Since his social life was non-existent, he focused his energy on school. He excelled at Math and Science, and he was even a member of the Chess Club. Once a week, they would meet after school to compete against each other. The other four days, he went straight home to play online video games. It was easy to forget about his own life when he could have a bigger persona on the computer screen. Online, he had plenty of friends. He was accepted. He was good at something. In real life, he was the loner who couldn't wait for high school to be over. 

The closest Pak ever had to getting lucky with a girl was a 4 month relationship on the internet. And even then, they had cyber sex. Which wasn't that great, and didn't really count. 

So yeah, Pak is still a virgin. 

 

Screw this. I'm getting a make-over!! 

You go, Pak!! 

 

Wow!! Looking good, Pak!! They should call you Two-Pak from now on. So you have the look. Now you need the confidence. You gotta own it, and don't be afraid of rejection. 

Pak: Rejection?? 

Me: Yeah. Think of it as a sales pitch. How do you expect to sell candy if you don't approach people? For every 10 people you approach, expect 9 to reject you. It's all a number's game. 

Pak: Whaatt??? Nine rejections?? 

Me: Do you want to stay a virgin? 

Pak: No... 

Me: Okay then. You gotta go after what you want. Remember, you only need one girl to say yes. Just one. 

Pak: True. 

Me: Just remember. If you expect to get rejected, then you have nothing to lose, right? 

Pak: Right. 

Me: Alright big boy. Go try the Sauvignon Nectary first. It's less crowded. 

Pak: Alright. Here I go. 

 

This is the local Sauvignon Nectary. It used to be a house with an orchard and vineyard for nectar making, but I converted it into a nectary. It's a pain in the butt to have to go to France just to get nectar. 

 

Me: What do you think you're doing? 

Pak: Whaaat?? 

Me: Shoplifting nectar? Really? 

Pak: Hey, I was gonna pay for it. 

Me: Uhh huhhh... 

 

Pak: Give me the strongest one you got. 

Random Mixologist Lady: Coming right up! 

 

Pak: YEAH BUDDDYY!!! 

Random Mixologist Lady: You like it? 

Pak: Woooooh this thing can wake up the dead!! 

Random Mixologist Lady: You want another one? 

 

Pak: I better wait. I think I'm seeing two of you. Wait...where did you go??? 

Random Mixologist Lady: Haha. I'm right here. 

Pak: So who's sitting next to me? 

Blonde Lady: You alright? 
 

Pak: Yeah. Remind me not to order that drink again. 

Blonde Lady: Don't order that drink again. 

Pak: Thanks. I'm Pak. 

Blonde Lady: Poc? 

Pak: Pak. 

Blonde Lady: Puk? 

Pak: No! Pak. Like I'm packing my lunch kind of Pak. 

Blonde Lady: Ohhhh...Pak. 

Pak: Yeah. 

Blonde Lady: I'm Jocelyn. 

Pak: Hi. 

 

Pak: I'm on a t.v. show. 

Jocelyn: Oh yeah? 

Pak: Yeah. It's called The Real World, Sunset Valley. 

Jocelyn: I've seen that show before but I don't remember you on there. 

Pak: I was the nerdy Asian guy with glasses. 

Jocelyn: Ooooohh that was you?? Wow, you look different. 

Pak: Yeah. It was time for a change. 

Jocelyn: You look good. 

Pak: Naaaahhhhh... 

 

Jocelyn: I watch reality t.v. once in a while. I like drama and CSI stuff. 

 

Pak: You know you're going to be on t.v. right? They're filming right now. 

Jocelyn: Oh. 

Pak: Just pretend you don't see them. 

 

Jocelyn: So what kind of shows do you like? 

 

Pak: All kinds. As long as they have a good story. My favorite is Star Trek and X-Files. 

 

Jocelyn: Umm...I'm not really into those. 

You better use one of your moves, Pak!! You're losing her! 

 

Pak: This is for you. *grin* 

Random Mixologist Lady: I gotta see this. 

 

Jocelyn: Umm...no thanks. 

Fail. 

Random Mixologist Lady: I'm going to pretend I'm mixing drinks. 

 

Pak: Awww. Those flowers cost me 10 simoleons!! 

Jocelyn: I don't want them. 

 

Alright Plan B. 

Pak: So....what's your sign? 

Random Mixologist Lady: Duuude, let it go! 

 

Jocelyn: You're joking, right? 

Fail. 

Random Mixologist Lady: Oooh! Make-up! 

 

Yeah. Not looking too good, Pak. Well, since you're 0-2, you might as well go for 3. What can you lose? 

Pak: She already rejected me twice!! 

Me: Remember, you only need one yes. This could be the yes. 

Pak: Fine. 

 

Pak: So....can I take you out for dinner one of these days? 

Her face says it all. 

 

Jocelyn: No!! Look, I'm married okay? I'm not interested! 

Fail. 

 

After the third rejection, Pak runs out of nice. He's embarrassed, frustrated and pissed. 

Pak: You know what, lady?? All you had to do was tell me you're married from the beginning and I would have left you alone. But you had to make conversation like you don't have a ring on your finger. 

Jocelyn: Well I'm telling you now. 

Pak: Whatever. What are you even doing in a place full of liquor by yourself?? What, is your husband that disgusting in bed?? 

Jocelyn: *GASP* 

 

Jocelyn: You jerk!! How dare you?? 

Pak: Yeah I said it!! Shouldn't you be at home with your kids getting fatter and older?? 

 

Jocelyn: If my husband ever sees you around, he's going to beat your ass. Don't you forget it!! 

Random Mixologist Lady: You shoulda left it alone. You're dead, boy. 

 

Pak: Well, his fat ass will have to catch me first. 

Random Mixologist Lady: No he didn't! 

 

RUNNNNN!!!!! 

 

Pak: No pain, no gain. No pain, no gain. 

 

Look out ladies!! The Pak is Back. 

"Don't call it a comeback
I been here for years
Rockin' my peers
Puttin' suckers in fear
Makin' the tears rain down like a monsoon
Listen to the bass go boom
Explosion, overpowerin'
Over the competition, I'm towerin"
 


Who bought a motorcycle?? 

------------------------ 

"Momma Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J 



Next: Episode 13 (Bad To The Bone)